My girl

Lana is growing up so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was the frazzled new mom with the infant who cried incessantly and LOUD. I would look at the clock and count down how many hours till Bill would walk in the door and I could hand over the screamer so I could make dinner. I got very little feedback from her that she even liked me a little. Oh, how I wish I had a blog then, it would have been so great to capture the moment and therapeutic for me too. Well, times have certainly changed! Lana has become sort of like my little friend. Much like Desi described her little buddy. Lana has become so physically affectionate with big hugs and many kisses and cuddles, but verbally sweet too--"Mama, I love youuuu!" She holds my hand without too much protest most of the time, well, sometimes. So I am finally getting that feedback I desperately wished for many months ago.

We hang out. We watch tv--her tv, not mine and only in the morning before I have made my coffee. We listen to music--children's music of course. She thinks I have crappy taste in music, understandably. We dance and act silly. People who know me IRL know that I despise dancing. I didn't even have dancing at my wedding and I was never into going to clubs for shaking my butt, despite having many friends who tried to drag me onto the dance floor. There is nothing like a 2 year old to make you let go of your inhibitions and just get crazy silly--even in public. I dance, I run, I make silly faces, I sing. I will do anything for that laugh--that wonderful belly laugh that is so contagious--I dare you not to smile if you heard it. We shop--grocery of course and Target mostly where we hang out in the shoe section trying on shoes she will never wear for more than 5 minutes. We also love the pet store (cheaper and closer than the zoo), the bookstore, Toys R Us of course. My only wish is that she would not wander (I mean run) away from me so often--but we are working on that. In fact, if I have any actual purchasing to do, I will not bring Lana b/c she is too difficult to look after unless she is in a shopping cart. Once Bill and I lost her in TRU for a good 5 min and it was seriously one of the scariest things ever. We scolded her and she cried and then we felt bad and hugged her.

One of the biggest changes I have noticed recently is when we go out to eat she sits on a chair next to me and just eats. I don't have to restrain her in a highchair, entertain her with crayons, or tell her over and over to sit and eat and no you are not getting up. As long as she is hungry, she just sits and eats like such a big girl. I love it, it actually makes me feel proud and it is so much more relaxing than before. I ask her if she wants to go out for a ladies lunch and she says, "Lana want to go outin eat!" Then in the car, "Fank you Mommy for takin Lana to refurant". Aww!

Sometimes I feel bad for Bill b/c Lana and I spend so much time together just hangin that I feel like we have a special bond that he just doesn't have with her. Sounds bad, huh? But its true. I often translate what she is saying when he doesn't understand. I explain inside jokes or something new and funny. I tell him about all the silly things we do and things she said and I feel bad for him. I mean, someone has to bring home the bacon and I am happy he brings home enough that I don't have to if I don't want to, but I can tell he feels sad inside that she prefers me and wants me for comfort and basically all of the routine stuff. It reminds me of having a close girlfriend that you have to explain to an outsider all of your inside stuff. I don't want Bill to be an outsider though!! That's horrible! I have made a huge effort to disappear when he is home or I make them take a walk together, just the 2 of them so that he can get the one-on-one time I get all day long. I notice she misses him more on Mondays after they spend so much time together over the weekend.

I just love my sweet girl and I love that we can do all sorts of fun stuff together. I will always always remember these times. Its so fun to have a mini girlfriend to hang with and I almost never look at the clock to countdown how many hours till Bill comes home so I can get a break and take a breather. Whew, I don't miss that at all!