Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I am a housewife--cringe cringe
This morning I was half listening to Maria Shriver's interview on the Today Show, while the other half of me was explaining to my 2 year old that I will be happy to play blocks with her as soon as I finished folding the laundry. Given my half-listening status, take all of the following "quotes" with a grain of salt--I am paraphrasing here. Anyway, Maria Shriver was relaying a story about how her son's friend asked him if his mom was a model and her son replied, "no, she is a housewife" and Maria Shriver was horrified. First of all, does her son's friend live under a rock? Hello? So Maria Shriver said to her son, "How could you say that? I am a journalist!!" He replies, "Not now, you are not--you are not doing that anymore." She said, "Well I am the first lady of California." He replied, "Nobody elected you, they elected dad." Anyone else want to smack this kid for being snarky? So during the course of the interview, Maria Shriver spoke about how the word Housewife just made her cringe and she didn't identify herself as such and the whole exchange made her really do some inward thinking about who she is and how she wants to spend her time. She even thought about going back to journalism, but she ultimately decided that she was just using it as a safety net, just so she could say she was a journalist. I can relate to this on so many levels. Being a housewife (ugh) is something I NEVER thought I would be, but here I am and surprise of all surprises, I love it--I have never been happier. I am 110% grateful and at peace with my decision, but I still hate the word Housewife, the description, the implications. Like I am some kind of 1950s throwback, with no power, no voice, no escape from misery. Since we just moved here, we meet new people all the time and I often feel judged for being not only a housewife (ew) but a doctor's wife (like I am some kinda gold digger) as well. Sometimes I just want to tell them that I am a scientist. I have a PhD! I am kinda smart! I have published a lot of papers in peer-reviewed journals! But I don't because ultimately I don't care that I am being judged. And at the end of the day, the piece of paper that says I have a doctorate doesn't mean as much to me as that cute little face that looks up at me and says, "Mommy, sit and play blocks...workin...workin..." (she always says that when she builds something). Like Maria Shriver, I have had passing thoughts of returning to be a scientist, but really I would just be doing that to say I am a scientist--and that is the wrong reason. Maria Shriver also said that she likes to think of herself as a work in progress and that its okay that she doesn't know where she will be in 5 years. Okay, that is totally me! I don't think I will be a housewife (ick, ick) forever--but I am not sure what I will be in 5 years--I just strive to be happy and to find something I am passionate about, as passionate as I used to be about science when I was 20. Maybe I will do something science-like, but maybe not and I am okay with that. So perhaps I will refer to myself as a work in progress instead of a housewife, b/c that word makes me cringe!
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4 comments:
Julie - I understand what you are saying. I have taken a few steps back to be a WAHM but I have no regrets because it's wonderful to be here with the boys. It's great to have choices and I know that you will find something that you are very passionate about when the time comes if that is what you want. You have a great attitude!!
Julie - I prefer to call myself the Director of Household Operations rather than housewife. That sounds like you are married to your house, and that is simply not the case. I look at it this way: I am responsible for the house and the kids and making sure everyone is clean and well fed right now, but I am married to my husband, and he takes care of other duties, like making sure the car is up and running and that we are not using too much electricity or water. If he were to stay at home, what would he be called? Househusband? I don't think so. :) I say create your own identity! LOL
Julie - You do not know how lucky you are to be able to see Lana through these early years. I did not have that luxury. Every day I had to leave you hanging onto Miss Fran's pants crying as I left to go to work. I would have loved to take you home and play with you. Being a homemaker is a very important job in today's society. In the 60's it was looked down upon but not anymore. You are a wonderful mother, homemaker and scientist. Whatever you chose to do in the future is because you want to, not because you think someone else expects you to. My hat is off to you!!!!
Jill--I totally admire and respect what you do and I don't know how you do it! Lana barely lets me check my email--I blog during naptime--I could never WAH with her around!
Gail--Director of Household Operations--LOVE IT!!!
Awww, Mommy you rock! I am lucky lucky lucky :)
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