Have you ever just been cruising through life thinking, "Wow, things are great. I am blessed. Happy, satisfied. All is well. Lucky me." And then, "Something bad is going to happen. I feel it." The day after I got my positive pregnancy test I actually said that out loud to Bill and he responded, "you are crazy."
Turns out I am not crazy.
My dad has just been diagnosed with Stage 3B adenocarcinoma--lung cancer. He had a low-grade fever, but no cold or other symptoms. They gave him a full workup and found the tumors in his lungs and the cancer in some lymph nodes, but no distant organs (thankfully). He had a CT scan about a year and a half ago and his lungs were all clear. That is how fast cancer can progress.
After our initial shock and denial and complete and utter FEAR, we have collectively decided to stay as positive as possible. My dad is going to fight. He is going to live. He has a lot of support through his friends, neighbors and family. Unfortunately, I am on the opposite side of the country, which feels like the opposite side of the world. I will visit whenever he needs me, with or without Lana in tow, depending on how he is feeling during treatment.
I am feeling so frustrated because of the distance. I want to help, be the best supportive daughter he could imagine. I want to DO something, but I don't know what to do. I try to stay off the internet, even away from the scientific journals, because sometimes too much information is not a good thing. So I call, I send ultrasounds of a dot (b/c that's all I have for now) and I am waiting to see how he does with chemo to plan a trip.
So anyway, this is why I have been away from blogging, but now that its out, I am sure there will be more to say in the upcoming months.
Say a prayer for him, if you do that sort of thing...
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9 comments:
Wow, so sorry to read about your dad. You and he will be in my thoughts and prayers.
I am so sorry to hear this news. Hugs to your entire family.
Julie, I know this news is so hard to take and so difficult to understand (even with our scientific knowledge). I did want to say though, when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, I thought the world was closing in on me. I also felt frustrated with the distance, even though she is in NY and I am in MD. Distance, regardless of the miles, pulls and tugs at our hearts. What I can say to you? Work with him, have him ask the right questions to the doctors, if you need to write out a list of questions and have the doctors answer them on paper for you. Take care from the distance. Make sure he has what he needs and is getting the right care. Also, what are some of his favorite things --- make sure he has these at his beck and call. Plan life, do not stop life. He needs to know you are planning on future with him. Talk to him - all the time. Don't talk about the cancer all the time. But do talk about it. The worst thing you can do is ignore it, because then they feel isolated. If there is anything else you need, call me.
Julie-
I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. He knows that you want to be there, and that you are always thinking of him. I am thinking good thoughts for you and your Dad.
I AM a person who prays...so I'll do so. SO sorry to hear this sad news. Geez. I know that you will do everything you can because you already are. I'll be thinking of your family.
Julie - I am sending all the postive healing energy I can muster to your dad and your family. ((((HUGS)))
Oh my god Julie. I have not been on the blog in awhile so the first post I read was baout your new arrival (CONGRATULATIONS!!!!) and then I read this one and it felt like such an emotional rollercoaster, I can only imagine how you must be feeling. I am so so so sorry. I know there is probably nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I just want you to know that I am here for you if you need anything or just want to talk. I will keep your dad and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Really, there are no words. Please know that we are thinking of you, and will help in any way you need.
My heart hurts reading this post. . .but just think how much you can help with your scientific background. He'll be the most informed patient ever!
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