Lana has been embarrassing me lately. Her speech is so crystal clear that there is no denying what she is saying. And she is saying things in public. The other day at Qdoba we are ordering tacos at the counter and the woman working there asks "Black beans or pinto beans?". Lana blurts out, "No beans. Beans make mommy fart." I turn beet red and pretend I didn't hear her.
Then yesterday we are at a casual restaurant that has a table in the corner with some toys to occupy the kids. Mom, Bill and I are finishing up dinner and she goes over to the corner to check things out. All of a sudden she starts screaming bloody hell. I am thinking, she pinched her finger, cut herself, something dire! I run over there and she says so loud, "I NEED A DIAPER!!" She was wearing panties and a little tiny poo came out. Oh jeez. The whole restaurant is staring at me. I try to cover it up telling the other patrons, "She is fine. Everything is fine. Girls are all drama.." She proceeds to scream her head off in the bathroom while I deal with the tiny particle of poo and promptly put the Pull-Ups on. I walk out of the bathroom beet red again. As we were leaving and putting her coat on she says, "I fart, excuse me!" Thanks, great. We are never coming back.
This one happened at home, but if it happens in public I will just die! Mom, Lana and I are sitting on the sofa. Lana is watching Little Einsteins and Mom and I are reading the newspaper. All of a sudden, out of nowhere Lana says,, clear as day, "SON OF A BITCH!" My mom and I almost fell off the sofa. Lana and I had a long talk about bad words that grownups sometimes use and how she cannot say these words, etc. Bill secretly gave her a high five later. He is so proud. Terrific.
Then today we all went furniture shopping in Seattle. We went into this one store that was super modern--way too urban for our taste, but we were just browsing. There is a $2000 swivel round chair with an ottoman sitting in the front. Lana climbs on and starts turning the chair and says to the sales dude, "Just like in IKEA!" I am sure the guy working there really appreciated that one. It was kind of funny though. He laughed.
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2 comments:
I was going to have to leave you another comment to tell you to post again! Don't you love our kids? They bring it down to what is real and what can really embarrass you.
OMG--ROTFLMAO!!! Lana is a stitch. This is probably on the beginning! Good luck to you! (BTW--Ed swears he heard the F bomb fly from William's mouth. Now where on earth would he have heard that? :-) )
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