The Birds and the Bees--3 year old version

Did anyone see that episode of Oprah where they gave the sex talk to the 10 year old daughter on air? I didn't watch the entire episode, but I did see part of it. It was pretty crazy and super uncomfortable for all parties, especially the mom. I watched out of curiosity and then I felt thankful that I have a toddler, who only has questions like, "Mommy, why don't I have boobs?"

With me being pregnant and all, there have been some more questions, simply due to my changing body and Lana noticing. She has been very interested in the anatomical differences between boys and girls. While once we used code words for body parts, we are using the proper terms now. As we were getting ready for her shower last night, she sat nudista on the bath mat and peered between her legs and said, "Mama, there is a hole in my v@g@!" (insert proper name here--I am trying to avoid web-pervs). She seemed a little disturbed by this discovery, but I assured her it was normal and fine to have a hole there. She has also noticed that large boobs jiggle and little ones do not. She will go up to my mom and smack her on the chest and exclaim, "Grandma's boobs MOVE!" Then on to me, "Mama, your boobs do not move--why?" Yep, that's right Mama's little titchies do not move, bounce, jiggle, etc. Rub it in, why don't ya?

The big "talk" happened yesterday. My mom was relaxing, watching a little Lifetime when Lana and I joined her on the sofa.

The woman on TV was crying.

Lana said, "Grandma, why is that lady crying?" My mom told her she was sad.

Cut to the next scene, the same woman strips down to her bra and undies.

"Grandma, why is that lady taking off her clothes?" My mom told her she was getting ready for her bath.

Next scene: The couple (the dude was a young John Stamos, fyi) was doing it, and the woman was on top.

"Grandma, is that lady happy now?" We both giggled and said, yes.

"Grandma!! What is that man DOING sleeping under her?" We crack up, cover her eyes and change the channel.

Lana bursts into tears after trying to hold it in and says that we hurt her feelings and she was going upstairs to be by herself.

Nice. I felt so bad, I followed her and apologized for hurting her feelings. We then talked about how some tv is for grownups and some is for kids. I did feel really bad for embarrassing her. It made me realize how she is not a baby anymore, she is so aware of what is going on and its time to not let inapproprite tv, language, etc. to just be on in the background b/c like it or not, she is paying very close attention.