I feel so bad for my poor husband--Lana calls him "Baba", the Chinese word for Daddy. Lana is going through a very clingy Mommy-only phase. I think it has a lot to do with the separation anxiety she has been experiencing lately and the fact that I am with her 24/7, except for the one day a week she spends with my inlaws, which Lana dreads--you know, the whole Mommy leaving thing. Even if I just mention my inlaws, she gets all anxious, "Mommy coming too?" Apparently last week, after her nap she sat by the front window looking at all the cars passing by saying, "not Mommy's car..." over and over for like 2 hours.
Anyway, I digress, back to Baba. Poor Baba is feeling so left out. Lana wants nothing to do with him if I am in the room or nearby. If I am holding her and my arms get tired, she will NOT go to him--she would rather go wet noodle and pitch a fit. It makes him feel so bad. She will sit and cuddle with me, but if comes near us, she will say, "Baba, go to office, check email." Rude, huh? He was traveling last weekend and he was working long hours last week, so I suppose its just b/c he hasn't been around as much. He always asks me why Lana hates him so much. I do feel bad that Lana and I seem to be growing closer and more affectionate, while she is totally rejecting Bill. I keep reminding him that it is a phase and soon she will be Daddy's Girl and I will be missing her. I have been trying to give Bill some extra attention from me though, poor guy. I must confess though, I feel a little spread thin with Lana physically attached to me all day and then wanting and needing to give Bill attention at night. We are thinking about adding to the family in the relatively near future, but this needy phase makes me not want to rush into it.
Believe me, I am not complaining about my close bond with Lana and all the cuddles I have been getting. Just yesterday Lana said to me, "Mommy look pretty" and "Mommy cuddle Lana" (yes, she is still talking in the third person, like Elmo). Aww! How could you not love that? I especially appreciate it b/c she has never been a cuddler. I just hope that Bill too can partake in some of those delicious snuggles from Lana soon. He totally deserves it.
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- Jenn--Three boys and a girl
- Stacey--One Tree, Many Nuts...
- Jessica--For the Love of Dog
- Outnumbered Gal
- Amalah
- London's Calling
- Joanna--Sidewalk Chalk and Sippy Cups
- Megan--In pursuit of balance
- Maria--Oh I likey dat
- Lindsay--Crawford House
- Jenn--Staying in touch with the Funny Noses
- Desi--The E Family in Sin City
- Bridget--Equilibrium
- Laura--Laura's Mommy Journal
- Beth--Working it Out
6 comments:
It's definitely a phase! Ed's reaction is just the opposite, though. He's happy that I end up doing the lion's share of the kid-related chores! LOL. Truthfully, though, once Seth came along, William finally started bonding with Ed and I think Ed loves it. I think you should handle it by making yourself scarce whenever Bill is around (go get a manicure or go shopping or go to B&N!) and force the issue a bit. Lana won't like it at first, but she'll come around. Although I'm sure she'll come around anyway. Tell Bill to hang in there!
We are going through the same pains over here. I read in "Your Two Year Old: Terrible or Tender" this is a normal developmental phase. I feel so bad for Jon because he is really an equal partner, sharing all the work but everything is mommy right now. It's the first time we've had this and it's very unsettling for him.
How about this. I will tell Jon about Lana and you can tell Baba about how Jon gets rejected by not one, but two boys on a daily basis! They literally scream and cry if they have to sit on his lap at bedtime to read books. And they both want me to dry them off after the bath. So imagine everything times two.
I'm just trying to be sensitive and ride it out.
Don't feel bad. Tyler is downright rude to my Dearest sometimes. He takes it in stride, but I find it tedious that Tyler won't let anyone but me read to him or get him a cup of milk, or blow his nose, or help him go to the bathroom. I think my Dearest is happy not to have to do some of these things...I caught him eating ice cream while I suffered horribly giving both kids a bath last night...grrrr! LOL
Oh this is a hard thing- but something that is so very common and typical. And so hard for Daddy! we have found that sometimes just making sure that he is part of the play can help. Hang in there. It can be exhausting to be hung on all day- sounds like you are doing all of the right things.
We are going through the same thing here. DH does get a little hurt, it's hard not too. It is exhausting for us too. I can feel you on that one.
We have the opposite problem. Reagan is a total Daddy's girl.
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