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Where is my brain? Seriously it is mushy. I haven't been blogging because there is something wrong with me. I can't form thoughts, real sentences or anything. Is this lactation brain? I dunno, but I am feeling pretty stupid these days. I have been struggling to even leave coherent comments on other people's blogs! It's like the words are not coming to me and its super frustrating.

Here are some non-coherent thoughts about what's been going on here. Forgive me if I don't make sense:

Thanksgiving: relaxing, family time at our house. I didn't knock myself out, but still managed to make a yummy meal. Me and my mom enjoyed it, but I am not sure about everyone else. My turkey and gravy were killer b/c I used pancetta in both and nothing makes meat taste better than fancy bacon. The best part was that at my 3am feeding on Thanksgiving night, it was the first time in a long time when I didn't feel hungry.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving, we had a lunch for my inlaws friends at a Chinese restaurant. Usually after a baby is born, you have a party when the baby is 30 days old. We had this one on Lacey's 60 day birthday instead. Other than me and my mom, everyone else spoke Chinese, so we just ate and smiled. I think everyone had a nice time. It is a little disconcerting to hear a bunch of people speaking another language, then all of a sudden you hear your name and then laughter.

The Sunday after Thanksgiving was what would have been my dad's 63rd birthday. We went to the cemetery and brought some purple flowers. It was sad. It's really hard to see the grave marker with my dad's name on it. It seems so real. I know it is real, but its hard to look at the actual name and realize that this marker is all I have left of him. My mom said she felt so sad, like he got cheated with his life being cut short like that. I just miss him. A lot. Lana sang happy birthday to him. Its amazing how children can just snap you out of a deep despair with their innocence.

Lana has been amazingly wonderful lately. I just jinxed myself, but I had to say it b/c she has been awesome. Fun, hilarious, well-behaved. She has started helping me with chores. I was complaining to my grandmother about the constant mess in my house--mostly toys laying around and she recommended that we give Lana an incentive like an allowance. I thought to myself that she was too young for that. But, after I stepped on one of those My Little Pony hairbrushes and started cursing, I told Lana if she picks up her toys and helps mommy around the house, she could earn a dollar a week, to be paid on Fridays. She could save her money to buy stuff. She was totally on board! I have to remind her to pick things up and I have to be specific, but I have not heard one "NO!" out of her. She has also taken an interest in doing dishes. I give her non-breakable things and she uses soap and the sponge and does an awesome job! I have to change her shirt after and dry up the floor after, but hey, I hate doing dishes, so I welcome the help. Plus, it keeps her busy while I cook. Today is her first payday and she is excited about it. She said she wants to save her money for college...or candy.

Well, that's about all my brain can handle at the moment.