Time, where have you gone?

This has nothing to do with the holidays, but holy moly, I have no time--for anything. WHY WHY WHY? I am a stay at home mom. I have my mom, my inlaws for help and they help a lot. My husband is a very involved father. There are a lot of families who are clearly busier, with more commitments and less help and they seem to have it together. Where are the hours in the day going? I have two things I do every day--I take care of the kids and I make meals, including home cooked dinner 6 days a week. I have two activities outside the home--a bookclub and I am on the Board of Directors for the local Children's Museum. In the last 6 months, I have read exactly one book and I have attended one Board meeting. I barely update my blog, I don't exercise, I don't watch any DVRed TV shows, I don't chat on the phone with my friends. I certainly don't have time for hobbies, that is just a joke.

I think for me the change has been the birth of Lacey and then the long period with sleep deprivation. She still wakes up 3 times a night crying, but settles down herself within minutes. Why is she still night waking at nearly 15 months??? I digress, but I forgot how consuming it is to have a mobile baby who can't really communicate, who doesn't understand logic or follow directions, who pushes me away from the kitchen counter every time I get near it. She is active, into everything, stubborn, but cute as hell. I cannot take my eyes off of her for a second. I spend her naptime cooking dinner and when my inlaws watch Lacey one day a week, I have SO much to do and catch up on that those 4 hours just fly by--the extra stuff, the fun stuff, the stuff for ME just gets pushed to the bottom of the list. We generally eat dinner after Lacey is in bed and then its a crunch to get Lana bathed and in bed. Then the dishes, making Lana's lunch, taking my shower and I plop down on the sofa with Bill for an hour before we need to get to bed.

I miss having energy, goals, hobbies, a To Do list that was do-able, a neat and tidy home. But really I have nothing to complain about b/c I have a pretty cushy life. I appreciate that, I really do! I just wish I had enough spare time to catch up on things, not feel so discombobulated. Maybe when Lacey goes to school in 2 years I will get back to my bookclub, writing grants, organizing photos, having a hobby and maybe, just maybe one day I will fit in some exercise. That would be one of those hell freezing over kind of moments, but I am still putting it on my list.

I know this complaint is not unique to me, and certainly there are other moms with WAY more on their plate, but I do notice that other moms seem to have other stuff going on in their lives. Maybe they just don't need as much sleep as I do, or maybe I am just a lazy bones. Maybe I just forgot what its like to have a baby around and I just need to chill until she gets a bit older and can be more independent.

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In other, non-whiny news: Lacey is approaching 15 months old and has recently had developmental explosions! She is walking so fast now, climbing everything (yikes!) and can understand SO much of what we say to her.

Her words are:
Mama
Baba
Nana (Lana)
Baw (ball)
Doe (door)
Boe (bowl)

She can point to her nose, eyes, teeth, tongue, hair, belly button, toes and hands upon request.

If you say, "Its time to go pick up Lana from school." She will walk to the door, pick up her jacket and stand there.

If she wants a snack and you ask her to go find her bowl, she will return with bowl in hand.

She blows kisses, waves and is obsessed with pointing out pictures in those First Words books. The thing is, Lana thinks its funny to teach Lacey the wrong words--i.e. if Lacey is pointing to a duck, Lana will tell her "horse, Lacey". Sneaky little thing!

This is totally a fun age, despite its demands.